Interdependence
“Okay. I need you to comment on my blog so I can turn in my final draft for my KC3 project.” I’ve been telling people to comment on my blog just so i can turn in my final draft on my KC3 essay. That’s an act of interdependence. “Inter” means everyone like international, and “dependence” meaning to depend on everyone to get one job done. On the contrary, if one fails in a little circle, than everyone fails. In Menemac, we are all one big group so this is another example of interdependence. An easier illustration of interdependence is to be explained as a “domino effect” whereas one thing can trigger something else as well. Like for example, I didn’t get two get’s on my blog as well as Mrs. Sueoka’s stamp of approval so i cannot turn in my final draft thus releasing the bad grades on my report card.
Like most things, I depend on the work that comes in to further alter my grades assigned to me in the end of the quarter so I can get an A. Especially in Social Studies and Language arts so I can at least get a A.
“You need to type up this paper and place it on your blog so we can use the information onto our website, PowerPoint, and so on.” Someone* said. So Another person (Let’s call him Bob.) So bob said “ I’ll do it tonight.” Later that evening, he went home after Robotics and his computer crashed! But Bob thought to himself” Oh no, someone’s depending on my to type up this paper and everyone needs it.” After thinking hard for a couple of minutes, he had no other choice but to go to his neighbors house to type up his essay and unfortunately enough, they went somewhere. So Bob went across the street and sure enough, they were home. And so as a result, Bob got his essay typed up and gave to everyone to use for information. **
*Pseudonyms were used in this story
** this story is mostly true
Empathy
Empathy is very similar sounding to sympathy but that’s all they share. Empathy is feeling what they’re feeling and comparing your feeling from the past to another person. Empathy is emotions characterized from bodily acts to simple words and can share a connection with the other person when they would react the same way. Empathy is a “People Skill” Where many who do not enjoy others pain and inner suffering can utilize and use to soothe and relax another person.
A more fitting term for this emotion is “Putting your feet into their shoes.” This term is an easier way to tell someone to look at life through another perspective. You can use this with a person who hates life. Get some reasons why and view life through their perspective. Then you can relate yourself to them and understand them more. It’s also a bonding reaction to bond with another person. Almost like sharing interests.
“So you skipped school to see your grandfather in the hospital? Is that right?” Bob* said.
“Yes” Jamirus* said. “ He has ‘Psychodellisis neuroperthemilical everious cancer**’ he will die within a week.”
“Well, I apologize for your loss. You know, I lost my grandfather a couple years back.***. You start to grieve, and then you go into denial, and it’s a whole mess.” Bob said.
*Pseudonym
**Not a real cancer
*** Everything here is fiction.
In the story, Bob lost his grandfather so he can understand Jamirus and further understand Jamirus more as a person. He empathized for Jamirus and can feel what he’s feeling.
Ideas: You have the right ideas for the definition of the themes but your specific examples aren't very good. They are very confusing and the examples are supposed to be real. I noticed that your footnotes in your essay say that some of your examples are fiction.
ReplyDeleteOrganization: I like the way that you seperated the definitions of the two words although your ideas don't flow making it hard to read. There is no introduction or conclusion to any of your ideas.
Voice: I could tell that this was you writing although I think that you may have used too much voice in this piece. You want to put some of your own personality in your writing but you still have to make sure that it is gramatically correct.
Word Choice: Your word choice consists of some very advance words but you need to remember what kind of audience you are writing this for.
Ideas: your have good ideas like your intentions are good but they are very confusing. Your have details but it’s almost like your overdoing the details, most of your details are irrelevant I think you should try being more straight forward. Your examples are hard to understand maybe try simplifying it and names also made it hard for me to read, so maybe try changing the names to more familiar names.
ReplyDeleteOrganization: I think for both of the theme words you should organize it the same. For example you should put the definitions first and then the examples for both words so you can tell which is the definition and which is the example.
Voice: I could see your voice in parts of the essay but some of it, like the examples, is hard to tell if it’s your voice I think you should try to clarify that.
Word Choice: In most of essay your word choice is good but the footnotes and the examples get confusing like how you say “everything here is fiction” you should really try to say that in your example rather than writing it after the example it just makes it more confusing.
So overall it’s a good draft and I’m sure with another revision it will be a good essay. Good luck on your revision :)
-kiyo